be an atheist, be a christian, be buddhist, be straight, be gay, be cisgender, be transgender, be non-binary, be carnivore, be vegan, be whatever the hell you want to be but don’t be an asshole is this so hard to understand
Talks about thing I like
I don't really care. Let's talk about things I like. They're a lot better. I mean, the things you like suck.
God, you're a geek. Why can't you like normal things? Now shoo, I have more important things to listen to.
I know, right? I love that thing too! I'm so excited!
Talks about feelings and personal problems
Oh, okay, but that's not /that/ bad did I ever tell you about the time that this one thing happened to me and it was 3290259059059x worse?? Why don't we talk about my feelings? They're more important.
Oh god here you go again with your teenage angst! Please shut up already.
Oh my god. I am so, so sorry. Are you alright? Do you want to talk about it? I sort of understand in a way, but this isn't about me, it's about you. Just remember that it gets better. Don't give up, please. I believe in you.
Talks to internet friends
Family and RL friends:
Why do you go online and on your phone so much? God, what are you, antisocial? What's your issue?
Don't worry, I'm here for you. I wish I could hug you right now.
My roommate and I are really sick and we look like shit, but we were hungry so we ordered pizza.
But we didn’t want anyone to see us, so we asked them over the phone if we can leave the money on the door and they can just drop off the pizza.
The guy said sure.
So we decided to leave a nice little note
and we hung it above the door bell. I hope they like it!
pizza spelt its own name wrong
i feel everything about this vine in my soul
cry me a lake by justin timberriver
I wanna fuck so many of you
Nice nice but I wanna eat this turkey bacon BLT
what the fuck is a blt
Do you not have Bacon Lettuce Tomato sandwiches in the UK….
if we did we’d just call it a “bacon lettuce tomato sandwich”
So you guys don’t have abbreviations either? Laugh Out Loud…..